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Culture

Your experience has no value if nobody wants to work with you

Every election produces winners. Yet the largest political party doesn't automatically end up governing. Why? Because winning votes and building a coalition are two very different skills. Influence has never been about numbers alone. Influence doesn't come from being right. It comes from others being willing to work with you. I think exactly the same principle applies inside organizations. Experience earns expertise. Relationships create impact. We've all met them. The engineer with twenty-five years of experience. The consultant who has seen every technology come and go. The architect who always seems to have the right answer. Brilliant people. Yet somehow... Nobody enjoys working with them. People avoid asking them questions. Meetings become uncomfortable. Conversations become debates. Eventually, people stop involving them altogether. Not because they lack knowledge. Because they lack influence. Experience creates expertise. Relationships create impact. Without the second, the first becomes remarkably ineffective. Being right is surprisingly overrated One of the biggest misconceptions in leadership is believing that being right is enough. It isn't. You can have the best idea in the room. The best architecture. The best strategy. The most accurate analysis. If people no longer want to collaborate with you, those ideas rarely leave the meeting room. Knowledge has little value if it never influences decisions. The ability to convince, inspire and collaborate is often far more valuable than simply having the correct answer. Being right is surprisingly overrated if people stop listening. It's the tone that makes the music In Dutch, we have a saying. "It's the tone that makes the music." I've always liked that expression because it captures something every experienced leader eventually learns. People can handle difficult feedback. They can handle disagreement. They can even handle hearing they're wrong. What they struggle with is unnecessary disrespect. The words are rarely the problem. The way they're are delivered usually is. The difference between: *"This design is wrong." and "Can I challenge one assumption? I think there's another approach worth considering." isn't technical. It's relational. One damages trust. The other builds it. Leadership is not about winning arguments Many leaders unknowingly turn every discussion into a competition. They need to have the final word. They need to prove they know more. They need everyone to recognize their experience. Ironically, the most respected leaders I've worked with did the opposite. They asked more questions than they gave answers. They listened before they challenged. They corrected without humiliating. And they made people feel smarter after the conversation than before it. That's influence. Not authority. Authority comes with a job title. Influence has to be earned every single day. The cost of being difficult I've seen incredibly capable people quietly become irrelevant. Not because their expertise became outdated. Because people stopped inviting them. Stopped asking for advice. Stopped involving them in important discussions. Not out of spite. Out of self-preservation. Every difficult interaction teaches people something. Either: "I'd like to work with this person again." Or: "Next time, I'll ask someone else." Few professionals realize how quickly that reputation spreads. Leadership by example This matters for everyone. But it matters even more for leaders. Because leaders don't just influence individual conversations. They influence culture. When leaders interrupt, others interrupt. When leaders dismiss opinions, others stop contributing. When leaders publicly criticize people instead of ideas, psychological safety disappears. And when leaders consistently treat people with respect, even during disagreement... The organization learns that respect isn't weakness. It's professionalism. Leadership by example isn't a slogan. It's how culture is transmitted. Expertise is only valuable when it creates more expertise The best leaders I've worked with all had one thing in common. They weren't interested in demonstrating how much they knew. They were interested in helping others become better. Their expertise didn't make them the smartest person in every room. It made everyone else smarter. That's a subtle but profound difference. Because leadership isn't about collecting followers. It's about multiplying capability. Closing thought I've met people with decades of experience who struggled to create lasting influence. And I've met relatively young professionals who inspired entire teams. The difference was rarely technical expertise. It was trust. People naturally follow those who make them feel respected. Those who challenge ideas without attacking people. Those who make collaboration easier instead of harder. Because in the end, your experience isn't measured by the number of years on your résumé. Nor by the certifications you've collected. Nor by how often you've been right. The value of your expertise isn't measured by what you know. It's measured by how much of that knowledge helps others succeed. And if nobody wants to work with you... Your experience has very little value at all.

Ownership is not a KPI. It's a culture.

One of the most common frustrations I hear from leaders is surprisingly consistent. "People don't take enough ownership." It's often followed by familiar observations:"Nobody takes responsibility." "Everyone waits for someone else." "Things keep falling between the cracks."I understand the frustration. I just think we're asking the wrong question. Ownership isn't something you can demand from people. It's something your organization either produces... ...or suppresses. And that starts with leadership. Every organization gets the culture it designs for Culture is often described as something intangible. Something that "just exists." I don't believe that. Culture is simply the collection of behaviors that leaders consistently reward, tolerate or ignore. If leaders reward collaboration, collaboration grows. If leaders reward accountability, accountability grows. If leaders reward hitting individual targets regardless of the outcome... That's exactly what people will optimize for. Culture isn't what is written on the wall. It's what happens when nobody is watching. The lease car wasn't the problem Recently I received a lease car through my employer. On paper, everything had gone according to plan. The administration was complete. The delivery had been scheduled. The paperwork was ready. Every process had apparently been followed. Yet the experience told a different story. The car smelled of smoke. Parts were missing. The key battery was almost empty. The interior clearly hadn't received the attention you would expect before handing it to a new driver. None of those issues were catastrophic. Individually, they were almost trivial. Together, they sent a very clear message: Nobody owned the outcome. I'm convinced everyone involved completed their own task. Someone scheduled the delivery. Someone processed the paperwork. Someone prepared the vehicle. Someone cleaned it. Someone inspected it. The problem wasn't that nobody did any work. The problem was that nobody seemed to ask one simple question before handing it over. "Would I be proud to deliver this myself?" That's the difference between completing a process and owning a result. Activity is not accountability I've seen the same pattern throughout my career. Hours spent in meetings. Good discussions. Interesting ideas. Everyone contributing. And then the meeting ends. No action list. No owners. No deadlines. No follow-up. A week later, the same discussion starts all over again. Not because people didn't care. Because nobody was explicitly responsible for making something happen. The meeting produced activity. Not accountability. Those are very different things. You can't manage what you haven't defined The same applies to performance. I've worked with organizations that wanted to improve quality, customer satisfaction and operational excellence. All admirable ambitions. Then I asked a simple question: "Which KPI tells us whether we're succeeding?" Silence. Not because people lacked intelligence. Because nobody had translated ambition into something measurable. If you don't know which outcomes matter... How do people know where to focus? How do they know which trade-offs are acceptable? How do they know when something deserves escalation? Leadership often asks for ownership while failing to define success. That's an impossible assignment. The danger of optimizing the wrong thing This is where KPIs often get a bad reputation. People say: "KPIs don't create ownership." That's true. But poor KPIs can absolutely destroy it. If you measure ticket closure, don't be surprised when people close tickets quickly. If you measure utilization, don't be surprised when calendars fill up. If you measure cost reduction, don't be surprised when quality quietly declines. People optimize for what the organization demonstrates is important. Not for what leadership says is important. Metrics don't create culture. They reveal it. Leadership by example is more than a slogan Leadership by example has become one of those phrases everyone agrees with. Yet few organizations truly live it. Ownership starts long before employees decide to take responsibility. It starts when leaders do. Leaders who admit mistakes instead of explaining them away. Leaders who finish what they start. Leaders who make responsibilities explicit instead of assuming someone will "pick it up." Leaders who ask not only what happened, but also who owns making it better. Culture copies behavior. Far more than it copies presentations. Ownership is designed into the organization Many leaders try to solve ownership by asking for more of it. I think that's backwards. Instead, ask different questions:Does every important outcome have a clearly identifiable owner? Does everyone understand what success looks like? Are responsibilities explicit? Are decisions made where the knowledge exists? Do our KPIs reinforce the behavior we actually want? Would our leaders behave the same way they expect others to?Those questions reveal far more about ownership than another workshop ever will. Closing thought I've become convinced that organizations rarely have an ownership problem. They have a leadership problem. Not because leaders don't care. But because ownership isn't created by asking people to "take responsibility." It's created by designing an environment where responsibility is obvious. Where success is clearly defined. Where outcomes have owners. Where leaders model the behavior they expect from everyone else. Because in the end, people don't simply work within the culture of an organization. They work within the culture its leaders create. And if ownership is missing throughout the organization... The first place I would look isn't at the people. It's at the example they're following.

Onboarding is not an HR process

Every organization talks about Customer Experience. Increasingly, they talk about Employee Experience too. There are conferences dedicated to it. Dashboards measuring it. Entire software platforms promising to improve it. And yet, I continue to see organizations where a new employee spends the first weeks chasing a laptop, waiting for system access, wondering who to ask about a lease car, or discovering that nobody seems entirely sure what should happen next. That isn't an HR problem. It is an organizational one. The first experience shapes everything We often assume culture is something employees discover over time. I don't think that's true. Culture starts on day one. Not during a presentation about company values. Not during an all-hands meeting. Not because someone tells you what the organization stands for. Culture emerges from dozens of seemingly insignificant moments. Was someone expecting me? Was my manager prepared? Did my accounts work? Did I know where to go for help? Did different departments seem connected, or did I become the person connecting them? None of those moments appear in an annual report. Yet together they answer a much bigger question: "Do these people have their organization under control?" Every small interaction builds operational trust Trust is often discussed as something leaders earn over months or years. But there is another kind of trust. Operational trust. It has nothing to do with charisma. It comes from consistency. Every smooth handover, every proactive update and every well-prepared first day tells a new employee the same thing: "Someone thought this through." The opposite is equally powerful. Every missing approval. Every unanswered question. Every process that requires the employee to coordinate departments that should already be working together. Those moments don't just create frustration. They quietly undermine confidence in the organization itself. Onboarding is not an HR process This is perhaps the biggest misconception. Organizations often divide onboarding into responsibilities.HR prepares the contract. IT provisions the laptop. Facilities arranges a desk. Procurement orders the phone. The hiring manager schedules introductions.Individually, each team may perform perfectly. Collectively, the experience can still fail. Because onboarding isn't a collection of departmental tasks. It is the first end-to-end process an employee experiences. The employee doesn't care where HR ends and IT begins. They experience one company. Which means onboarding is not an HR process. It is one of the clearest demonstrations of operational excellence a company will ever give. Or fail to give. Culture is experienced before it is explained Organizations spend enormous effort defining culture. Mission statements. Leadership principles. Core values. Internal campaigns. Most of them are well intended. But people don't believe culture because they read it. They believe culture because they experience it. If your organization says people matter, but nobody notices a new colleague waiting three days for access to essential systems, the employee remembers the experience. Not the PowerPoint. Culture is never communicated as effectively as it is demonstrated. Different people need different beginnings One of the mistakes organizations make is assuming everyone wants the same onboarding experience. Some people want structure. Others want autonomy. Some appreciate detailed guidance. Others would rather receive a laptop, a login and the freedom to explore. Neither approach is right. Neither is wrong. The real challenge is recognizing that equality does not always mean uniformity. Good organizations don't standardize people. They standardize quality while allowing room for individual needs. AI isn't replacing onboarding Every technology conference seems to ask the same question: "What's our AI strategy?" Perhaps a better question is: "Which problems are we still asking people to solve manually?" Ironically, many onboarding activities have already been automated for years.HR-driven provisioning creates accounts automatically. Identity platforms assign access. Workflow engines trigger approvals.The technology already exists. Yet the employee experience often remains fragmented. Not because automation is missing. But because the process itself was never designed as a single experience. That is where AI becomes genuinely interesting. Not as another chatbot. But as an orchestration layer. An assistant that notices a laptop hasn't been delivered before the employee does. That reminds managers of conversations they should have already scheduled. That recognizes dependencies across HR, IT, Facilities and Procurement before they become delays. That answers questions before someone has to ask them. The real opportunity isn't replacing people. It is removing unnecessary friction between the people who are already involved. Why CEOs should care Too often, onboarding is delegated. HR owns part of it. IT owns another. Facilities owns something else. Everyone has responsibilities. Nobody owns the experience. That should concern every CEO. Because onboarding is rarely remembered for a single event. It is remembered as a pattern. A pattern that answers one simple question: "Is this an organization that operates deliberately, or one that reacts continuously?" That first impression influences trust. Trust influences engagement. Engagement influences retention. And retention ultimately influences business performance. This is no longer an HR conversation. It is a leadership conversation. Final reflection Organizations often say that people are their greatest asset. I believe most leaders genuinely mean it. But beliefs become visible through design. The first weeks of employment are not simply about receiving a laptop, signing policies or collecting access rights. They are the first demonstration of how an organization thinks, collaborates and executes. Customers experience your products. Employees experience your organization. Both form opinions remarkably quickly. The difference is that customers can walk away. Employees first decide whether they believe your culture. Only afterwards do they decide whether they want to become part of it.

Strategy is for decision-making. Marketing is for storytelling.

Organizations spend an extraordinary amount of time defining their vision, mission, purpose and values. Workshops are organized. Consultants are hired. Leadership teams debate every word. Marketing departments create beautiful presentations. Posters appear on office walls. And then, on Monday morning, nothing changes. Not because the strategy was poorly communicated. But because it was never designed to help people make decisions in the first place. Too often, organizations treat strategy as a communication tool. I believe it should be treated as a governance tool. The day I realized we were solving the wrong problem Not long ago, I was part of a leadership team redefining the identity of a growing IT services company. The ambition was clear. We wanted to define who we were, what we stood for, and where we wanted to go. Something people could genuinely recognize themselves in. Something that would unite the organization as it continued to grow. At least, that was my expectation. Instead, the conversation quickly became familiar. Customer intimacy. Innovation. Competitive pricing. Quality. The kinds of phrases every organization seems to use because nobody can reasonably disagree with them. None of them were wrong. But I kept asking myself a simple question. What will we do differently on Monday because of this? Nobody seemed able to answer. And that was the moment I realized we weren't creating a strategy. We were creating marketing. A strategy should answer questions before they're asked As organizations grow, decisions become increasingly decentralized.Recruiters hire people they've never worked with. Sales teams negotiate deals without involving the board. Architects design solutions independently. Product managers decide what gets built next. Marketing teams position the company every single day.The larger the organization becomes, the less practical it is for leadership to approve every decision. That is precisely why strategy exists. Not to inspire people. Not to impress customers. Not to look good on a website. But to ensure that hundreds of people make decisions that move in the same direction. A good strategy reduces uncertainty. It doesn't create it. Every strategic principle should have consequences Words like innovation, quality and customer intimacy sound impressive. But they only become meaningful when they influence behavior. Imagine a customer asks for a highly customized solution. Do we build it? The answer shouldn't depend on who happens to be leading the meeting. It should already be implied by the strategic framework. A recruiter finds an exceptional engineer. Technically brilliant. But unlikely to thrive within the organization's culture. Do we hire them? Again, the answer shouldn't require executive intervention. Marketing wants to launch a new campaign. Should we position ourselves as the cheapest provider? The premium specialist? The safest choice? The most innovative? If your strategy doesn't make that decision easier, what exactly is it for? Every strategic principle should eliminate options. If it doesn't help people decide what not to do, it isn't providing direction. Growth demands autonomy When organizations have fifty or a hundred employees, many decisions still happen organically. People know each other. Leadership is accessible. Context spreads through conversation. But as organizations scale, that changes. Information becomes fragmented. Teams specialize. Decision-making becomes distributed. You cannot build a thousand-person organization where every important decision depends on a handful of executives. Nor should you want to. Growth requires autonomy. But autonomy without direction creates inconsistency. That's where strategy becomes essential. Not because larger organizations need more slogans. But because they need better decision-making frameworks. Strategy should reduce debate, not create it One of the simplest ways to test whether a strategic framework works is to observe what happens during disagreement. Imagine a discussion about building custom software for an important customer. If the room immediately splits into opposing opinions, and the only way to resolve the discussion is by asking senior leadership... ...your strategy has already failed. A strong strategic framework should settle many of those discussions before they even begin. Not because it provides answers to every situation. But because it establishes principles that people trust when making difficult trade-offs. The best strategies don't eliminate judgment. They improve it. Storytelling still matters None of this means communication is unimportant. Quite the opposite. Organizations absolutely need stories. Stories create identity. They build culture. They attract customers. They help people feel connected to something larger than themselves. But stories should explain strategy. They should never replace it. Marketing tells people what the organization believes. Strategy determines what the organization actually does. Confusing those two is where many organizations lose their way. The real test The effectiveness of a strategy isn't measured during an annual kick-off. It isn't measured by how many employees can recite the mission statement. And it certainly isn't measured by how attractive it looks on a slide. It's measured in ordinary moments.A salesperson deciding whether to accept a customer. An architect deciding whether to build custom functionality. A recruiter choosing between two candidates. A product team deciding what not to build.Those are the moments where strategy either exists... ...or it doesn't. Closing thought I've seen organizations spend months debating the difference between a vision, a mission, a purpose and a set of values. Ironically, none of those discussions improved a single decision. Because the names don't matter. Whether you call it a strategy, a vision, a purpose or a strategic framework is largely irrelevant. The only question that matters is this: Does it help people make better decisions without asking for permission? If the answer is yes, you've built something that can genuinely guide an organization. If the answer is no... ...you've probably written excellent marketing copy.

Employees don't want another survey. They want to be heard.

Every year, thousands of organizations ask their employees exactly the same question. "How are we doing?" The survey has many names. The name hardly matters. The process is almost always the same. Employees are encouraged to be honest. Leadership promises to listen. The results arrive a few weeks later. A dashboard appears. Scores turn green, orange or red. Trends are compared to previous years and benchmarked against other organizations. And then something interesting happens. The organization starts explaining the results before it has really listened to them. The first reaction is almost never curiosity I've seen the same pattern more than once. Leadership gathers around a table to review the results. Some comments are dismissed as unrealistic. Others are explained away. "It's only a snapshot." "People don't see the full picture." "The reorganization clearly influenced the scores." "One department pulled the average down." Sometimes those explanations are entirely reasonable. But they all have one thing in common. They explain the outcome before they explore it. That subtle difference matters. Because the purpose of listening isn't to defend your decisions. It's to understand why people experienced them differently than you expected. Measuring trust doesn't create trust Organizations often invest significant time and money in measuring employee satisfaction. Ironically, they spend far less time creating the conversations that actually improve it. A survey can tell you that trust is low. It cannot explain why. It certainly cannot rebuild it. Trust isn't restored by presenting another PowerPoint with action points. It is restored when people believe someone genuinely wants to understand their experience. Not to agree with everything they say. But to understand it. We keep scaling the wrong thing One of the biggest mistakes organizations make is assuming that more data automatically leads to better leadership. It doesn't. If anything, leadership becomes more difficult when hundreds of comments are compressed into percentages, averages and trend lines. The individual disappears. The story disappears. The nuance disappears. By the time the executive team receives the report, employees have become statistics. That may be useful for reporting. It is rarely useful for understanding people. Leadership happens at dinner tables Imagine something different. Not another annual survey. Not another company-wide town hall where only the confident voices ask questions. Imagine inviting eight employees to dinner every month. No presentation. No agenda. No managers. No HR representative taking notes. Just a conversation. People from different teams. Different ages. Different backgrounds. Different perspectives. Some who have been with the company for fifteen years. Some who joined three months ago. No expectation that everyone will agree. No expectation that every suggestion will be implemented. Just a conversation where people are free to say what they genuinely think. Not because leadership needs more data. Because leadership needs more understanding. People don't expect perfection One of the biggest misconceptions in leadership is that employees expect every problem to be solved. Most don't. People understand that organizations have budgets. Priorities. Customers. Shareholders. Trade-offs. What they struggle with isn't disagreement. It's silence. If an idea isn't feasible, explain why. If priorities changed, explain why. If you disagree, explain why. Adults can handle disagreement remarkably well. What slowly destroys trust is the feeling that feedback disappears into a system that quietly moves on. The purpose of leadership isn't agreement A good leader doesn't exist to validate every opinion. Nor should they. Leadership requires making decisions that not everyone will support. That's part of the responsibility. But responsibility comes with another obligation. People deserve to understand why decisions were made. Not because it guarantees agreement. Because it demonstrates respect. Being heard and getting your way are two very different things. Confusing the two helps nobody. The survey isn't the problem Employee surveys have value. They reveal patterns. They identify trends. They help leaders recognize blind spots. The problem begins when the survey becomes the conversation. Or worse, when it replaces it. Culture isn't built through anonymous questionnaires. It is built through thousands of interactions in which people discover whether their voice genuinely matters. The best organizations don't treat feedback as an annual event. They make listening part of how they lead. Closing Words Organizations often ask employees one important question every year: "How are we doing?" Perhaps leaders should ask themselves another: "When was the last time I had a conversation where someone felt completely free to disagree with me?" Because culture is not measured by a survey. Trust is not created by a dashboard. And leadership is not demonstrated by publishing an action plan. It is demonstrated by listening before explaining. By responding before defending. And by creating an environment where people continue speaking—not because they expect to win every discussion, but because they know someone is genuinely willing to hear it.